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March 28, 2010 / beautifulscenic

National Sarcasm Society- As if we need your support.

These are some sarcastic quotes you will definitely need in life.

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!”

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”

“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”

“The 100% American is 99% idiot.”

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”

“It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”

“It’s a catastrophic success.”

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

“No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.”

“How do you feel about women’s rights? I like either side of them.”

“A man is as young as the woman he feels.”

“A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.”

“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

“I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.”



Leave a Comment
  1. Canada / May 21 2010 6:42 am

    Whoa!!! I have a shirt with the sarcasm society one on it!!!

  2. Pavan Daxini / Apr 24 2010 6:45 am

    as if we want to read them

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